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as the floor of the car to lie not thinking only feeling; having been away too long; the clothes wet and the floor moving only a little each time and lonesome inside and alone with wet clothing and hard floor for a wife。
You did not love the floor of a flat…car nor guns with canvas jackets and the smell of vaselined metal or a canvas that rain leaked through; although it is very fine under a canvas and pleasant with guns; but you loved some one else whom now you knew was not even to be pretended there; you seeing now very clearly and coldly……not so coldly as clearly and emptily。 You saw emptily; lying on your stomach; having been present when one army moved back and another came forward。 You had lost your cars and your men as a floorwalker loses the stock of his department in a fire。 There was; however; no insurance。 You were out of it now。 You had no more obligation。 If they shot floorwalkers after a fire in the department store because they spoke with an accent they had always had; then certainly the floorwalkers would not be expected to return when the store opened again for business。 They might seek other employment; if there was any other employment and the police did not get them。
Anger was washed away in the river along with any obligation。 Although that ceased when the carabiniere put his hands on my collar。 I would like to have had the uniform off although I did not care much about the outward forms。 I had taken off the stars; but that was for convenie